I never post on this board but friends and I were discussing this topic yesterday.

If you were Mrs. Edwards and learned of the affair two years ago, would you have "allowed" your husband to run again for the office knowing the consequences of the news coming out?

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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

hmmmmm, good question. I don't think I would have.

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

Nope, Nope, and NOPE!
I would have told him not to run and if he decided to run for anyting he can do it alone. I do know that by running for any office leaves you open to anything to come out. ( personal and private matters) Maybe he should have thought about what it could and has done to his family .

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

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I think she's a Saint. I would have kicked his little rear-end to the curb a long time ago - election or no election!

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Mary

We all were of the opinion that we would not have been a part of his campaign knowing about the affiar.

That of course led us to a discussion of WHY she did.

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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

well, since I would not have still been married to the little castrated beast anymore (myself having personally castrated him with a very rusty knife and without the benefit of any kind of antiseptic or numbing agentbefore I kicked his butt out the door), I wouldn't have cared what he did.....

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

Your my hero Jeanief!

I would do the same exact thing!

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"Madison AnnMarie " 6/13/2008

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=8652d1ea.pbr

http://s244.photobucket.com/albums/g...t=adbcb309.pbr

I would have, but only under the condition that he was forthcoming from the beginning about it. He could have really earned some points had he come out before the campaign and said, "I'm human. I made a horrible mistake.", etc.

The American public can claim they hate adultery till the cows come home, but given how we glorify all the adultery that goes on in Hollywood (real and fictional) deep down most of us have at least some tolerance for it (of course more-so when the adulterer steps up and admits their actions PRIOR to being caught).

Just look at Brad, Jen, & Angelina. The whole world seemed to know Brad and Angelina were doing it before Jen did, and yes for a couple of months everyone was all about poor Jen, but whose kid's pictures just sold for big $$$. Now yes, Brad & Jen weren't married, but it's the same concept.

Looking at Bill Clinton, most of his supporters still supported him after Lewinsky. And Bill Clinton didn't have just that incident. His entire political career is litered with sex related scandals. Yet he still managed to win the presidency and a second term. And just because Hillary knew about it or was ok with it doesn't make it any less "adultery" than if the spouse doesn't know. Open marriage or not - if you have sex outside of the bonds of marriage - it's adultery. I think we are silly to think that an entire campaign can be undone by a sex scandal - this isn't 1940 anymore.

Brad and Angelina say that they did not start any affair until after Brad broke up with Jennifer. Now, unless you were in their bed/backyard or whereever they may have been, you have no proof that this statement is not true. And, the American public may or may not look at adultry as wrong...but it is definitely an individual decision between the two people involved in the committed relationship.

As for the $$ that Brad and Angelina got for selling the kids' pics, every single penny is going to a charity to help children around the world (including in the U.S.) I find it very admirable that they set this up, because you KNOW that every papparazzi in the world was gunning to get that first pic to make as much money off of them as they could--for their greedy little self.....so, since it was inevitable that the family would have been hounded to get those pics till they were out there, why not take the money away from the greedy papparzzi and give it to needy children. Brad and Angelina are not keeping a penny of it....nor do they need it.

As for President Clinton, what he did was adultery...those of us who supported him do not say it wasn't. What I will say, as a supporter is, were he my husband, he would no longer be, but that does not alter what good he did in office. Since he was NOT married to me it is NONE OF MY BUSINESS who he had relationships with... he was not cheating on ME. Hillary has claim to that knock-down!!! He was still an extremely SUPERIOR President to the one we have been saddled with for the last 8 years whose approval ratings are the lowest of any serving President.

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

Honestly, I don't think you would know what you would do until you were put in her situation. Anyone can say what they would do, but when presented with it personally, it might be completely different.

I really don't think she had a say in whether he was going to run or not. Like he said himself (I can't remember the words), but it was something to the effect of he had let everything go to his head, he thought he was better than others, etc., etc. He probably could have cared less what she thought about him running for president. Heck, they could have been sleeping in separate bedrooms and not speaking to each other and then when in the limelight would act like the 'loving couple'.

I don't think her decision telling him to run or not to run would have made any difference to him.

What I can't figure out - and this almost seems like a sacralidge to bring this up because of her condition - is why, if she is such a classy pillar of strength, warmth, and character, did she end up with a man like him?

He's so narcicisstic and surely this CAN'T be a trait that just came about in 2006. He's always seemed like a phony to me - too polished, too worried about his appearance, etc. He's nice-looking, certainly, but even politicians who need to *try* hard to look good don't go to the lengths he seemed to with that hair. It just seemed so vain, especially given that his platform made it sound like he was so in touch with the poor. If he was that in touch he surely would've wanted to tone it down and not do anything to make those he cared so much about think he was flaunting his wealth.

And yet this is the man she apparently loves so much.

Why?

Why would a woman with the character we're told *she* has be happy and at home with a man like *that*? Wouldn't she want better? Wouldn't she want *real*?

They were probably and he was probably different during the early years. And once you have kids, your priorities change. My family sometimes do things that I don't approve of, or act in ways that I don't find correct but I still love them. I don't always like them but I will always love them.

And maybe she had some ambition to be the presidents wife. And that ambition might have gotten stronger now that she's dying. And since she's dying, I don't see joining the dating scene as an option. With her cancer, I suspect her views on life and marriage have undergone radical reassessments. And not being in her shoes it's really hard to know what motivates her. But I do think that right now her primary thoughts are with her kids, not him so much, and that when it's time, she'll probably want the kids and probably John at her side.

I agree with this. Even under the best of circumstances, choosing to leave your spouse is a difficult decision to make. Not one to be made lightly or hastily, for sure. The ramafications of this affair have not all been felt by the Edwards family, I'm sure. This is something his young children may not be aware of now, but, will surely find out later in life. Sadly, their mother will likely be dead, and all they will have is their father. Not to say he's a bad father because of this, just that it will surely effect the relationship he has with his children. Remember, too, they have already lost a son/brother, and now are going to lose their wife/mother. No one knows what they are going thru but them. I'm sure it's Hell on Earth for all of them. I feel awful for the wife, but, applaud her for, what I can see, taking the high road and doing what is best for her family. She has to, afterall, do all she can to make things "good" while she is here. There will be plenty of time for hatred and bitterness after she's gone

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Doing the right thing isn't always the same as doing the easy thing.

You are missing the forest for the trees here...I don't give a hoot if they really were or weren't sleeping together until after he left Jen. I was using it as ONE of many examples from Hollywood - to show how as a society we say we have a negative view of adultery but at the same time glorify it.

And don't get all twisted about what I said about Clinton. I didn't vote for him but I didn't support the whole impeaching mess either (cause presidents have been adulterous long before Clinton - he just wasn't clever enough to cover it up as well). I was using it as an exmample of how wish-washy it is for people to make such a huge stink over what Edwards did if they continued to support Clinton post Lewisky. You yourself stated above that it didn't change the good he did in office - so why shouldn't that apply to Edwards. Should he have been the Dem. candidate choosen and then this had come out people would be even more worked up. I just don't like it when people (and I don't mean you - I mean "people" in general) take the same action and only speak out against it when some people do it, not all.

It seems my point was missed entirely and taken out of context just for the sake of arguing. *Sigh

Yeah - I do understand staying with him now, but it's the years prior to now that I can't figure out. They seem to be very mis-matched to me. He seems fake and she seems genuine. Genuine typically finds phony to be a real turn-off... so what put them together and kept them together all these years?

No freakin' way!!! lol lol lol That could never happen on these boards!!!!

You can say you'd castrate him, kill him, divorce him--or whatever. But, until you are in that exact position, you will never know.

No woman ever sets out to be cheated on, no woman ever thinks that they will be the victim of an abusive husband....It's really easy to say "oh, I'd NEVER allow him to do that to me....." It's not that easy to dissolve a marriage of several years and kids. It just isn't.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Very good points.

Mrs. Edwards has invested years into this marriage, for a reason. I don't know either of them personally, so I can't know what her motivation was, but she did. They have children, she's been ill on and off for some years now. If I were her, I would want to leave a legacy to my children they could be proud of and that wouldn't include a legacy of divorce.

I would not have wanted him to run just because I woulnd't want some of my last years to be spent being scrutinized, but for some reason she agreed to it. God bless her.

(disclaimer, I don't remember when she was diagnosed as terminal, so that may have made a difference in her decision)

Melissa

I don't know why she said "OK" to him running....but, I do know from personal experience--when a person is married to a narcissitic spouse part of the person is lost in order for the narcissitic person to be #1. You will do anything to keep your self-centered spouse happy. Because if he's happy, then everyone else stands a chance at being happy.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

But what's so weird about that is that the picture painted of her is that she is emotionally stable and healthy and a very solid person.

Something about that doesn't jive with being married to such a narcissistic man. Did they marry young and she's been 'stuck' with him for many years? Does she think he's as wonderful as he thinks he is?

$$$$$$$$$ ???!!

When my friends and I talked about this and her going along with the new run for president even though she was aware of this affair being in the background, we were of two opinions.

a) knowing that she was terminal, did she want to be First Lady so that her situation and perhaps death while in the White House would give a huge boost to cancer research and funding?

b) did she just want to be First Lady? She had hitched her wagon to this guy and did she love the limelight and publicity?

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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

Narciccistic people are extremely manipulative. And no matter how "stable" their spouse is--after a while manipulation wears you down.

Of course, she could have agreed for him to run KNOWING that the affair would come out and he'd be humiliated---a little passive/aggressive on her part.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Did I miss something? Who decided he was narcissistic? Did he refer to himself that way?

He did state that he became too full of himself....that's a hallmark of a narcissist. I would wager that 90-95% of all politicians would fall under the narcissitic personality diagnosis.
here's what the Mayo Clinic says about Narcissism:
Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:

Believing that you're better than others
Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
Exaggerating your achievements or talents
Expecting constant praise and admiration
Believing that you're special
Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
Taking advantage of others
Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
Being jealous of others
Believing that others are jealous of you
Trouble keeping healthy relationships
Setting unrealistic goals
Being easily hurt and rejected
Having a fragile self-esteem
Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional
Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it's not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don't value themselves more than they value others.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

I don't know...it could have been something so simple as she loved him and forgave him and hoped that it wouldn't come out. Who knows what we would have done in a similar situation? She seems like a loving mother and wife who has been through a lot in her life. It is obvious that she forgives her husband and truthfully, until we have been in that situation, we don't know what we would do if that happened to any of us. I know that I have said I would divorce my husband but I don't know....I haven't been put in that situation, Thank God, so I can't judge her.

Politicians are just human, they make mistakes. Huge mistakes. Hurtful mistakes sometimes.

I am sure it is not just one party who does it either so we can't blame it on being liberal or conservative. The power that goes with being in politics and having so many people telling you how smart you are or how much power you have allows you to think you are omnipotent and then you can think you are above the laws of men and God.

I feel so sorry for Mrs. Edwards. What is private is now public and her private hurt is being discussed every where.

I don't find glee in finding out about Sen Edwards indiscretion and for that matter with anyones when they are supposed to be faithful. Especially when they hold themselves up to be a member of the party with morals. I have been listening to the talk radio the last few days here at work and the conservative hosts are working themselves into a frenzy talking about Dems with no morals... When those fingers are pointing at someone, four more are pointing back at themselves, KWIM?

Well the conservative radio hosts are happiest when in a frenzy. I'm not sure where they get off talking about Edwards when McCain did something so similar. Sort of the pot calling the kettle black isn't it?

They need to google these names, Ryan of Ill, (sex club member), Schrock of VA, (sex with a male prostitute), Sherwood of VA, (mistress abuse), West of WA, (accused of child molestation I think), Ganon the White House, (200 visits), correspondent who was also a male prostitute, Foley of FL who was fond of underage pages, then Vitter and Tobias and their dealings with the DC Madam, Allen of FL, (soliciting police in a restroom), Murphy, (president of the Young Republicans who I believe was charged with sexual assault of a sleeping man), and Craig of Idaho, (I'm sure you remember him of the wide stance).

Word.

They spend more energy putting down Liberal candidates than talking about their own candidate or the issues. A very negative bunch. I only listen because it is the only channel I can get clearly unless I want to listen to country western or elevator music. LOL

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GO NAVY WRESTLING!!BEAT ARMY!!!
RJB 3/18/60 - 5/22/04
We miss you, sweet brother
God Bless the USA!!!!! Praying for my Youngster son at United States Naval Academy, class of 2014!!

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Same here. If you have any doubt about the control of the media by the right, just listen to the radio. So I simply keep my radio off most of the time. Silence around the house can be very relaxing.

So funny how a thread about a Dem turns into complaining about the Republicans/Conservatives.

same ol, same ol.

Melissa

Yes, aren't we smart and resourceful!

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"Well-Behaved Women SELDOM make history."Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

I have noticed the libs are the new face of 'judgemental".

Melissa

Gee, I didn't know there was a rule that we could only discuss Edwards sexual misconduct. Particularly when there is so much fertile ground on the Republican side. I guess I need to go find the rule book for these threads.

Oh I think you are being too generous. We could never take that away from your side.

I wouldnt have been married to the jerk, so I wouldnt give a flip if he ran or not.......I would be enjoying my alimony payments and tell him to drop dead...Hasnt that poor woman been through enough???? Sherri

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"It isn't that liberals are ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so."
- Ronald Reagan

I was curious about why she would choose to go on the campaign trail when she had been told her days were numbered, when she has little ones at home. I would think I would be trying to cram all the time in with my kids as I could, especially having the knowledge of his unfaithfullness. I have even wondered if the reason for Ms. Hunter not putting a name on the birth certificate and all the other weird stuff was because they were wating for Mrs. Edwards to pass before they came out with it all. I think there's alot more going on behind the scenes than anyone knows.

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*** Find A Need , Fill A Need ***

To return to the topic...PEOPLE had her as their cover story this week and I found an interesting line. ... gist was that friends said that she naively believed that the affair wouldn't become public.

Not sure I believe any of that...what friends....when did she confide this in them... did he tell her that he had it hidden away...he was still the moral man she made him out to be so she could in good conscience go out and compaign for him......and how naive can an adult woman be??

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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

You know, there are women out there who are so naive and stupid to actually believe anything their husbands tell them even when the truth is staring them in the face. They sort of live in a fairytale land where they think everything will be all right and perfect. I think with his money and their way of life and lifestyle, she has never really had to deal with life as we all know it. And maybe she didn't want to.

Sad, isn't it?

judg�men�tal �audio� (jj-mntl) KEY �

ADJECTIVE:

1. Of, relating to, or dependent on judgment: a judgmental error.
2. Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones: a marriage counselor who tries not to be judgmental.

judg�men�tal �audio� (jj-mntl) KEY �

ADJECTIVE:

1. Of, relating to, or dependent on judgment: a judgmental error.
2. Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones: a marriage counselor who tries not to be judgmental.
Edit/Delete Message

judg�men�tal �audio� (jj-mntl) KEY �

ADJECTIVE:

1. Of, relating to, or dependent on judgment: a judgmental error.
2. Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones: a marriage counselor who tries not to be judgmental.

Actually, I don't think mom2twins is being judgmental....

I think she's saying that even in this day and age there are still women with the "June Cleaver" mentality. For whatever reason, these women don't want to face a truth, or the truth they face is seen through rose colored glasses.

These are the women who don't realize their child has a drug problem until they find their cold dead body in the bed from an OD. These are the women that so believe their daughter is a virgin that they don't see that she's pregnant...
These women are blinded by their desire to have the perfect family that they don't want to see their husband's cheating or lying...

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

"and how naive can an adult woman be??" sounds judgmental to me.

It's difficult for an "average" adult woman to fathom how another woman can remain in an abusive marriage, or a marriage where the husband has committed at least one act of adultery....

I don't think it's judgmental to ask or make the statement "how naive is she?" It's just that until you've experienced it (the lying, the cheating or the abuse) it firsthand--you don't have a frame of reference.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

You're exactly right, Marilyn. And there are plenty of naive women around. (I know a few).

As for the poster (wildwood) who posted the same thing on three different threads, guess the controversy she wants to start won't happen. If what was said was conceived judgmental on her part, guess it needs to be copied and pasted on everyone's thread because everyone has their own opinion!

I've always thought there was a difference between an opinion and a "judgement".

It may be my opinion that the Edwards' family decision to have him run for president was wrong but who am I to judge them for that decision.

I can have lots of opinions about all kinds of things but rarely have enough information to make a judgement about another individual's decisions. Conversely, I can make the judgement that something isn't for me but I can only have an opinion about what is right for someone else.

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Ana
The Republicans have been putting lipstick on a pig for 8 years. Is a pitbull wearing lipstick an attempt to keep us from noticing the pig?

And that is important to me , why??

Having an opinion or being judgmental is a matter of opinion.

__________________
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

An earlier poster commented that libs were judgmental. I am trying to point out that the libs don't come with that label alone. There are enough judgmental statements on the the con side to win an award as well. Somehow when you yourself make a statement it's not judgmental but when someone else does it is. Most of the comments made here could be considered judgmental by someone else.

but so what?

You are labeling me...it could be your opinion that I am judgmental or you could be judgmental in labeling me.


But the word itself does not offend me...yea, consider me judgemental ...so what?

__________________
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

So nothing. I was, just as I stated, pointing out the fact that not just the libs can be called judgmental. And if you are not offended, then what are you?

Yes, you are NEVER judgmental!!!!! Now that's hilarious!!!!

Why ....was that your intent---to offend? I haven't posted on this board ever so you have no idea what my political leanings are- liberal or consevative or somewhere in the middle.


But offended no....to answer your question...I am merely continuing the dialogue with you.

Sorry you didn't get what you obviously were looking for....to offend by calling a number of us ....OMG ....judgmental!!!

__________________
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

E. Roosevelt

Is that your opinion or are you judging??

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Ana
The Republicans have been putting lipstick on a pig for 8 years. Is a pitbull wearing lipstick an attempt to keep us from noticing the pig?

I actually used to know someone like this. She still is in denial about her husband. If I was still friends with her, I would suggest she get tested for STD's or hire a private investigator.

On a different note - I suppose I kind of understand the denial. I was in denial about being scammed at one point. I suppose it's part of the grieving process.

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Prayer is the burden of a sigh,
The falling of a tear,
The upward glancing of an eye
When none but God is near."

Just having my daily chuckle!!!!

The accusation that is thrown around a little too freely, IMHO, around here is the ol' judgmental one.

"You're being judgmental."

What kind of lame accusation is that??? Isn't the whole board set up for each side to cast their opinions out there? How can you separate judgments from opinions?

Of COURSE you're judging. I see it from the conservative side here, and I see it from the liberal side here.

Interestingly enough, it might seem more stunning to some people to hear judgments come from the side of liberals. That is until you remind yourself that liberals are almost always expected/assumed to be open minded. However, (and again IMHO), they most frequently are NOT. And the vast majority of the most frequent posters here (many who would consider themselves "liberal") are the most judgmental of all.

BTW - to those of you who will ask me to "cite my sources" or "support my statements" - if I had the energy to do that, I'd go to law school. But instead, I'm here throwing out my current concepts on a coupon board. So it just is what it is. My opinion (or, as someone might want to point out - my judgement). Go figure...

So carry on with the judgments, criticisms, opinions...it's just about all that keeps this board hopping...

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"The errors of faith are better than the best thoughts of unbelief." - Thomas Russell