This isn't really political..but I guess it can be with the current slinging of "RACIST" being bantied about as it is with this election..

Two nights ago I was in Walmart, I was picking up a couple of Fabreze noticeables because I have a ton of $5 coupons for them & I really like the product. So while I was there there were a few other people standing by the frangrance items, we all got talking about noticeables & I offered coupons to a woman & a couple. We were just chatting along, i mentioned how much I like them, that even though the sign said $7.48, they were scanning at $5.97, so the coupon made them only 97 cents..and I mentioned how much I liked them.

It was like a love fest, all joking around & everyone excited that I was sharing coupons & the guy says to me, "wow, there really are nice white people out there". Now mind you..it didn't even click to me that he was black..I would have maybe guess latino if I had to think about it, but I seriously gave it no thought whatsoever (until after his comment), it was completely irrelevant to me. His wife gave him the serious glare, I just chuckled, kept up some small talk & we went our separate ways.

I was talking with my niece on my bluetooth while shopping & she heard the whole conversation..she was stunned!

Can you imagine if the tables were turned?

Sadly that statement was rude and not necessary at all. Sorry this happened to you, I would love for someone to offer me any coupons no matter it they were white black red green or blue.... Peace. Catherine

Just one question, what made you say he was black? Because of his statement? Do you think if he was Latino/Hispanic he wouldn't have said that? Just curious.

Whatever race, it was the wrong thing to say.

But look at it this way...you may have opened him up to possibility that just because people are not of his race, it doesn't mean they are against his race.

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Mary

His statement did not necessarily say he was black. He could still have been Hispanic, Puerto Rican, East Indian, or any other minority. Why did you assume he was black when you yourself said you would have thought he was hispanic? Making that assumption says as much about you as it does about him.

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"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"Your candle does not lose it's light by lighting another candle" Generosity

Have the courage to be yourself.

People who are not a minority think that anytime something about race is said it is racist. It isn't. That was a statement. You were being a nice white woman. He was amazed because maybe he has not been around many. It is possible that this has been his experience. There are posters who might say just the opposite. But they might ask their name first. But I digress.

What would have been racist would be for him to say something nasty about you because you are white like "You can't be nice because you are white and white people aren't nice". That would be a racist statement.


" Racism, by its simplest definition, is the belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race. People with racist beliefs might hate certain groups of people according to their racial groups"

Do you note the negative connotation in that sentence? Believing something negative about someone because of the color or their skin or percieved racial make up.

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GO NAVY WRESTLING!!BEAT ARMY!!!
RJB 3/18/60 - 5/22/04
We miss you, sweet brother
God Bless the USA!!!!! Praying for my Youngster son at United States Naval Academy, class of 2014!!

Personally, I think it's rude to be having two conversations at the same time. Also, I think it's rude to be doing one thing in public and talking on a phone at the same time. People think they can handle both, but they can't.

I have had to stand there waiting for someone to get out of the middle of the aisle, not know their kids are five feet away tearing up the stock, or get their checkbook/money out in line, etc, etc, etc. And while your niece was stunned at what she heard, usually it's the other way around, I hear things people wouldn't talk about one on one in fromt of someone else, but it seems they feel confident that since only one end of the conversation is heard, it's ok.

dl

I'm tring to figure out WTH my being on the line w/ my niece has to do with anything..I talk while I'm "running" all the time, I just tell people to hold on while I check out, talk to other shoppers etc., the beauty of unlimited long distance is it is no big deal to just have them hold, I'm big on multitasking & if someone wants to catch up with me, the best time is while I'm running doing my deals.

Second...it was after his comment that I stopped & really observed his ethnicity, he was indeed black.

His comment implied that every other "white" person was not nice, had I said anything remotely similar about black people, it sure as anything would have been percieved as racist.

I didn't think you would get it. I couldn't figure out what your being on the phone with your niece had to do with the topic you started posting about, but there it was.

You are exactly what I wrote about. So busy being on the phone that you are oblivious to many things going on around you and rude. I would say I can't believe the people on the other end aren't deserving of your full attention, but you probably wouldn't get that either. You aren't a good friend/relative to place so little value on them to TELL (your words) them to hold while you do something else.

You are the driver I don't want to be within five miles of while on the road. Multitasking, yeah right.

dl

dl

Had the individual said "Wow, there are really nice people out there"--it wouldn't have been racist. But because he brought the color of the OPs skin into the mix, it was racist. The implication was that he had perceived "white" people as not nice....

Seriously? If I said the same thing to a complete stranger of any other race than me(for all intent and purposes I'm white), I would have been racist.

Let's assume the OP was in a wheelchair--and someone said to her "wow, there are really nice disabled people out there," or what if she was overweight? It would be true to say that she was disabled or obese/fat/overweight---but would it be nice, polite, correct to comment on it, in the context as described? I think not.

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

WOW..

ahaha


WOW

you are quite the catch!

Nah, I am a minority and I don't find it racist at all. Not a polite thing to say and I wouldn't say it, Marilyn, but I would not find it racist as much as odd and funny. The wording should be "Wow, all white people are rude and mean and you are not" He didn't say that . I would think that probably if someone said it to me...."Wow, there really are nice black short women out there" my first thought would not be racist but instead to laugh and say "Of course, honey, there are nice people everywhere". Eye of the beholder.

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GO NAVY WRESTLING!!BEAT ARMY!!!
RJB 3/18/60 - 5/22/04
We miss you, sweet brother
God Bless the USA!!!!! Praying for my Youngster son at United States Naval Academy, class of 2014!!

My point was, if the tables were turned & I said that to him, no QUESTION I would have been called racist.

So, had kathytheshopper posted this, it wouldn't have been racist?

dl

Nah, only if you had asked him his name first.

I don't think it would have been percieved as Racist. But maybe in his life he hasn't come into contact with many white people at all. It is common in households of minorities, especially black households in the inner city who never see white people except on tv or when the police show up, not to trust white people. I can't blame them for thinking like that, can you? So when he said that, I can see it.

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GO NAVY WRESTLING!!BEAT ARMY!!!
RJB 3/18/60 - 5/22/04
We miss you, sweet brother
God Bless the USA!!!!! Praying for my Youngster son at United States Naval Academy, class of 2014!!

I see your point. And I don't disagree with you.
I think that sometimes, people who are caucasian are held to a bit of a different standard for what they might say, KWIM?

I've often got "wow, you're from the South and your aren't a bigot (or redneck)". But, if I walked up to a group of young black men and said "wow, you're black and you aren't out playing basketball"--how do think that would be received?

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Mental that one, I'm telling you. ---Ron Weasley, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

You must be on the cell phone again, multitasking since you can't form complete sentences. Or did you just tell the person to hold?

dl

But see, that would be a weird statement. If you said, "Wow, you are a bunch of black men, and you are not in jail or doing drugs or selling crack or being pimps" that would be putting them in a negative light because of their race or color of their skin.

I don't think that your stating something about their playing basketball would be considered bigotted or negative. Ill informed and ignorant and perhaps someone might look at you like you were crazed but it isn't a negative stereotype.

I am thinking of how to explain it better and I can't. Racism is negative. It is believing negative things about someone because of the color of their skin. It is racist to say to any one in any race something that pegs them into a hole that isn't thier fault that is negative, KWIM?

I don't care if someone said if they met me "wow there are some nice bi racial women out there." I would say "yeah, there are" and move on. I wouldn't think of it as racist at all.

But no one would really know that I am bi racial because my name is a Spanish one. So maybe they would think that I was Latino. I don't know.

__________________
GO NAVY WRESTLING!!BEAT ARMY!!!
RJB 3/18/60 - 5/22/04
We miss you, sweet brother
God Bless the USA!!!!! Praying for my Youngster son at United States Naval Academy, class of 2014!!

Good point.

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Mary

I guess that, to the extent the comment stereotypes people on the color of their skin, even in fun, it's racist.

Now try to imagine a comment like that being said with hatred. Because most of the instances that I see of racism have a real overtone of hatred.

If the comment that you related was the worst thing that anyone ever encountered based on their skin color, we'd be in a much better place than we are now. Be aware, I'm not saying what you are relating is insignificant. I am saying that it isn't anywhere near as significant or horrible as some of the instances of racism towards blacks that I see. It also leads me to ask what the guy had experienced in his life to lead him to make the statement.

To be upfront, I'm also uncomfortable with the fact that you would have thought the guy was Latino except that he made a comment, "wow, there really are nice white people out there," which apparently led you to believe he was black. Isn't that biased thinking?

Anyway, if you think this incident raised your awareness of racism, that is all to the good. I hope you keep an open mind to cases where others see racism where you don't automatically see where the incident was racist on its face.

After talking with my son and husband on this subject, they said racism is in the eye of the beholder. I don't look for it so when I see it, I see it.

Maybe the op is seeing it because it is her first time encountering it. If so, now you know.

__________________
GO NAVY WRESTLING!!BEAT ARMY!!!
RJB 3/18/60 - 5/22/04
We miss you, sweet brother
God Bless the USA!!!!! Praying for my Youngster son at United States Naval Academy, class of 2014!!

In your attempt to turn this inot a negative, You avoided reading this reply earlier up..



Point AGAIN being, I'd make a horrible police witness & his skin tone was not the first thing I made a mental note of.

I wasn't there to hear the tone and inflection of the comment, but I've been on the receiving end of similar comments before.

Is it possible he was trying to thank you while joking around with you? (nudge, nudge, wink,wink) and his wife shot him a stfu you're an idiot type of look?


I can't say whether the comment was racist. It really comes down to the intent. If he was serious it does imply that he thinks white people aren't usually nice.

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Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

Good deal and that was really nice of you to not only share the deal but also offer coupons.

I'm not sure I would classify this as racism. I do think it was an incredibly dumb and senseless remark.
I wonder if this was somehow a backhanded way to compliment you? Like "everyone else I have encountered has been mean, and you're so nice..."
Either way, it was a stupid thing to say and were I his wife I'd have really let him have it. What an idiot.

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GROW through life

Real eyes...realize...real lies.

Ok. . .I do think it's racism. It's pretty darn subtle and maybe not intentional. . .but racism all the same. I don't think I would be too offended though.

If I dropped my wallet and a black person picked it up and gave it back to me, I would say:

"OMG! Thank you so much!"

NOT

"Wow, there really are honest black people out there."

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- George Orwell Animal Farm

I do think this was how it came out...but I just shudder at how it would have been taken if I we reversed the roles!

Good one! YOu know anything I say would be racist!!!

I just won't go there.

__________________
GO NAVY WRESTLING!!BEAT ARMY!!!
RJB 3/18/60 - 5/22/04
We miss you, sweet brother
God Bless the USA!!!!! Praying for my Youngster son at United States Naval Academy, class of 2014!!

Yours is a classic case of not seeing the forest, for the trees.

dl

Oh yeah, because I have Never been the recipient of true racism.